Friday, August 31, 2012

A Lesson of Love.

-i copied it from  web. enjoy!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her

hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. 
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my
mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly: "why?"
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me,
"you are not a man!" 
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted
to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer.

My wife had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love my wife anymore. 
I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she
could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had
spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. 
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could
not take back what I had said
for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an
eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. 
I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before
the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were
simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want
to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room
on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry
her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I
thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days
together bearable I accepted her
odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and thought it
was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, Jane said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her
out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From
the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over
ten meters with her in my arms. 
She closed her eyes and said softly:
 "don't tell our son about the divorce." 
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. 
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait
for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She
leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long
time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had
taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to
her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years
of her life to me.On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our
sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about
this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a
few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed:
"all my dresses have grown bigger" 
I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit
me...she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said : 
" Dad, it's time to carry mom out. "

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of
his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged
him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my
arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held
her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much
lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in
my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said : 
"I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."

I drove to office....jumped out of the car swiftly without locking
the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my
mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her : 
"Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce with my wife anymore."
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. 
"Do you have a fever?" She asked. 
I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and
I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I
realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day
I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart."

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst
into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote : 
"I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"

 That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs,
only to find my wife in the bed -dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice.
She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from
the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we pushed
through with the divorce.
 At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the
money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for
each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

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