Friday, July 18, 2014

Hidden Stupidity

They sit around me. Doing work. Work I’ll never understand. I say I do and I guess that gets me by. They tell me how smart I am. But they don’t really know a thing about me. I’m too scared to do this work. Scared of failure. Always scared that people will look down on me.

I would rather be seen, as that kid that knows what she’s doing but is too stubborn to put any effort in.

That’s how it is. It’s the honest truth. But if I said these words out loud. Nobody would believe me. They would all tell me of the potential I have. I don’t have any at all actually. The one subject I care about I’m failing. Though the teacher thinks I’m passing because I know how to spin shit. It will only last so long. Soon they will all know the truth. As soon as my exam results come back. They’ll know how stupid I am. I know I will want to run away from them all. I already want to run. But things are too good here at the moment. Work won’t be as slack as school is. I will have to show up, something I don’t do for school. I will have to actually do the work. I’m scared to stay but i’m terrified to leave.... 

okayy la. thats's all for now. *sigh*

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

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