Friday, December 13, 2013

Ah 20, Here I Come!

i can't think of any gif to start my entry lol
oh well :3

I'm turning 20. Who else here havin' the weird tingly yet exciting feeling about this?

I’ve started to think about how easy it is to become controlled by our age. And the expectation of what your age signifies to everyone else. How old you should be by the time you graduate, buy your first house, get married, have kids,start your retirement. Suddenly it seems like there are all these benchmarks to meet, even when they don’t match the goals you are trying to reach.

Because as easy it is to forget, you’re free to do what you want with your life. The problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than they way you are expected to. Especially if that means taking a big jump and when that jump may feel like a free fall. Maybe quit your first job and go back to school if that feels right. Get married or don’t. Maybe you drop out of school or chop off your hair. Maybe you change your mind and become a different person. Maybe you move away or move back home oM maybe you’re scared to do these things because it’s uncomfortable and unexpected. maybe it’s because you don’t know if everything would fall into place or you’re scared what that would mean if it did.

When you’re in your twenties, I hope you buy a plane ticket to Paris. I hope you get lost wandering all of the streets. I hope you travel the world and read lots of new books. I hope you have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea. I hope you have a water fight in central park. I hope you don’t do any of these things or that you do them all. Probably write a book. Start new friendships and let go of the ones that you need to. Say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you stagnant and vow to keep moving forward.

I hope your life is one of wisdom and youth, adventure and old age-
no matter what year it was that you were born.

But what i really mean to say is that I hope you aren't held back because of a number and that you don’t rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. I hope you do what’s right for you. Your age is your age. But more importantly, your life is your life. Don’t change your journey so that it matches someone else. We need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. Revel in the differences and enjoy where you are.

What's inside your mind readers?

Leave any comment! <3

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Where do I Learn Korean Language?


Haiii! Lepas habis je STPM tempoh hari (sem 3 okay. I bukan junior hee) , I tekad nak belajar bahasa korea ni. Rasa2nya you all tau juga kan influence dari siapa. Of course semuanya kerana Running Man! Nak ambil kelas bahasa Korea, bukan murah okay. So plan nak stay kat rumah and belajar through online! Hari itu I found out website yang nampak 'all perfect' for beginner like me nak belajar bahasa korea, tapi dalam website tu tak pula dia sertakan sebarang video atau audio cara nak pronounce/sebut hangul. Sigh , this can't be! Then, tiba-tiba I terfikir ;
Kenapa tak belajar dari YouTube saja?

Kan lebih baik begitu. Kalau tau tulis tapi tak tau sebut , useless juga kan? So search punya search, usha pun usha, klik punya klik,  I pun terjumpe lah videos yang  cukup baik punyeeee!

Sila tengok video2 tu kat sini --> seemile - Learn Korean Language / seemile - Teacher Jenny's Lesson

They all teach us how to write, pronounce, grammatical rules, basic phrases,  vocabulary, understanding the meanings and macam-macam lagi lah! ( I paling suke Teacher Jenny's lesson, senang nak faham)

Ini salah satu video lesson dari Teacher Jenny. I loike!

Sekarang ini, I dah tau cara tulis dan baca setiap perkataan tu. Tapi I belum belajar lagi makna setiap perkataan atau cara nak buat ayat. Well, dalam proses lah ni. Jangan rush sangat nanti stress! Hihi. I juga sediakan 1 buku nota untuk buat catatan dan latihan. Apa you all ingat otak kita ni hebat sangat ke? lol 

stress ker?

Susah? oh of course susah kalau tiada kesungguhan. I ni full ngan determination tau! Oppa yang seorang tu (ehem! hahah ) perlukan masa selama setahun lebih untuk menguasai SEPENUHNYA bahasa korea , sebab dia sambung study kat Korea, dalam masa 3 tahun lagi baru dia balik Malaysia (time cuti op coz ler dia ada balik gak sini lol)

When there's a will, there's a way right guys? Happy Learning! :)

Thanks for reading! 잘가세요

Awuu, Kookie and his dongsaeng :3

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Oppa, I Bid You Goodbye

오빠 , 고마워요!

Sampai hati you pergi begitu saja. Without a single word!
7 tahun I pendam dalam diam, akhirnya...

After a long 7 years, my burdened heart is finally set free.

Remember that time when we were so close? It took us not more than 10 minutes and there, we were already comfortably sat next to each other. Not saying that we were once a lover. We were friends but in a special way that we felt between the two of us. You weren't my biological brother but with you, I'm protected. I could go the whole day, burned under the heat of the sun just to be with you. For you, meant a lot to me.

We were swayed , slowly, we've reached at the last moment.

You hold the seat for me. You've waited me. I knew. I was touched and sat right next to you. On our way back to school, we said nothing to each other. You had something to say , but I don't know what caused you to be mute all the way. Just like that, that had been our last moment together. For we never met or see or greet each other again. 

I suffered for you had left me without saying anything, even a simple goodbye? I've tried to poke at you and say "HI" but well yeah, I never did , I'm being paralyzed just by seeing you. That was how I've been living by life, hiding behind the wall. 

You left. Ohh you left. I cried for the unspoken 'Goodbye, take care Big Brother'

* * * * * *
7 years passed by. You still owed me the words I wanted to hear (or at least read) .Suddenly the urge came from no where possessed me. I found you. I sent you a long text which contained my anger, my sadness, my long for you, it was all mixed in hundreds word. (seemed more like an essay lol). Thank God , you replied, with a damn long essay too haha.  That was our first 'conversation' after a 7 years and probably the last one we ever had. But, no regret. Stay safe there in Korea!

It was more than a matter of knowing all  the words that were finally said. The words that were finally spoken, like the thoughts that were made in my soul. For I have kept everything inside waited for the right moment to pour em' out.  I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent our young life, learning from each other.

My heart was no longer longs because I had set it free. 

Goodbye Oppa! 

p/s : Here's a reminder again, i called him as a brother/oppa because he was. this is not a romantic-love. Take note! :D 

Here's a lil piece of Monday Couple moment hee!

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Friday, December 6, 2013

A Short Thought

Looking back now, I was kind of lost and probably even pretty depressed at times. I wasn't happy with myself or my life.

Fortunately, I got through that period. I got to a place where I could truly love myself and be happy even without having a significant other to lean on. And once I reached that place, everything else good followed. I have a great mom, awesome best friends and I met an amazing man, I'm truly happy. And though I still have issues with anxiety , I can confidently say that I love my life, and I am so grateful for what I have.

For anyone else going though tough times, please remember that things will always get better. Time heals. And if you don't give yourself a chance, you may never know or experience the amazing things that are in store for you. Always love yourself first, and the rest will follow.

  Things will always get better

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Alright reserved by Azirah Jaini.