Love can change your world, but should you let it change who you are as a person? When you’re in the throes of passion, you might feel like you’d do absolutely anything for the person you love. And that you’d do it with a smile on your face. But in the long run, changing – or trying to change – who you are will spell nothing but trouble if the change isn’t authentic and natural. When you’re in love with someone, they’re likely to be the person you spend most of your time with.
And since we continually absorb information from and observe the behavior of those around us, your partner is bound to have an influence on your character and your habits, whether or not you’re conscious of it. Compromise is also a massive part of a relationship, as no two people will be able to slot seamlessly into each other’s lives without both of them making a little space.
We people change – we can be miserable or we can be happy. It’s what you make of your life
However, you can’t force yourself to change, and you need to consider whether any changes you do make will be positive for the two of you after the initial flush of love has worn off. You’ll also need to ask whether you’re making the changes because you want to for the sake of your relationship or you have found yourself being pressured to by your partner. Every relationship is different, but it is very beneficial for your relationship for you to consider whether the changes you’re making to yourself are healthy or unhealthy.
Whilst you might find someone who’s pretty close to perfect for you, no one is truly perfect. You’ll need to be willing to adapt in order to make it work with someone wonderful. There’s a difference between changing yourself as a person because you want someone to love you and changing small things about yourself because you want things to work with someone who already loves you for who you are.
no one is truly perfect
If you are going to change yourself for someone you love, that should be entirely your decision, and you should be conscious of it, and doing it for the right reasons. You shouldn’t be doing it because you feel like you need to change fundamental things about yourself in order to earn somebody’s love. Whether your partner openly pressures you to change or does so by dropping small hints, it’s not healthy. You are wonderful just the way you are, and anyone you’re in a relationship with should love you that way. Whilst compromise is important, love shouldn’t be something you have to earn by molding yourself into your partner’s dream lover.
You always want to do things for yourself first, not in a selfish way. More like in a self-loving way.
