Thursday, July 31, 2014

I've Learned.

Mr. R

I don’t thank you for what you did, but I am glad that it happened. I was naive, trusting, and oh so in love, and you took advantage of that. Another heartbreak, I was never going to be ready for it, I am sure nobody ever is, but I was completely unequipped for the brutality of it. I think anyone would be.

But from our relationship, i've learned. A LOT okay ;

I have learned of my emotional limits, I have learned of my personal weaknesses, and I have learned of my emotional fragility. But I have also beaten them. Because I reached rock bottom, and have come back from that I now know that I have huge personal strength and I have learned that the only person I need to conquer my problems, is me.

I have learned how easy it is to lose yourself in favor of someone(you) or something(depression) else. But I have learned how to get yourself back and how to stay true to that person. I will not lose or change my core personality in that way again, because I have learned how damaging that is.

I have learned that trust is amazing, but it should not be given easily, or worse, faked. I have learned that the only person you can truly trust is yourself, but that there are other people that can come very close, and these people are so special and the ones to hold on to.

I have learned the value of forgiveness, not forgiveness because of love or desperation, a fear of letting go, or loneliness, but true forgiveness. Finding contentment with things and people that have hurt you and finding a silver lining is something I have discovered to be priceless.

I have learned that I am so blessed. I am strong, I am loved, I am beautiful in various ways, and most importantly, I now know how to be the only person I need to make myself happy.

So I don’t thank you for the pain you caused, but I thank you for the journey that it set me on. It has been the most challenging obstacle in my short, sweet, life, but it has been a journey that has bettered me astronomically and a journey that could not have been achieved without that pain. And it is a journey that is now complete and I never need to go on again.

I never need to go again.

I totally let you go. Time to move on. Always take care.


Sincerely,
Zira.



IT ENDED.
BUT, SOMETHING ELSE HAS STARTED 

Hahaha! This one, mmmm, nak tau? sila baca When My Fingers Strum




♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

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♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Dreams To Reality

When i woke up this morning, i felt like everything happened yesterday was just a dream. Mimpi yg sangat bahagiaaaaaa. Kalau boleh saya harap tu semua mimpi la. Hahaha! but when i checked my phone, okay, semua tu bukan mimpi. It really happened and betambah lebar senyuman ni, kalau boleh mau sampai telinga *blush*

Hari ini Khamis, tak lama lagi roomates pulang. Nak tidy up bilik, nanti pengsan diorang nampak bilik macam kena badai saja. Kuliah pun nak start sudah. Mau rush up buat assg ni! Sejak kebelakangan ni asyik melayang-layang saja fikiran ni. Malam pun susah mau tidur sebab asyik tidur petang. Tak mau dah tidur petang! Sorry to say semalam sy tidur jam 3am. Hahahah! bukan kehendak ku :(

Korang masih beraya sakan? Bagus korang hantar kuih raya kat sy. Sy belum merasa sebijiiii pun kuih raya tau. *sobs*

Okay la mau continue dgn assg ni. Add mathe! sedih betul subjek ni. -.- Tapi kepala sgt pening skrg okay. sigh

p/s : Hi stalker. How are you? *ehem* ♥
vrooooom!

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Awaken From The Dream

So you asked me what did i dream about last night. Are you sure you want to know it?

I only remembered the last part of the dream, ya' know.
I felt someone laid his hand on my shoulder. 
And when i turned around, 
It was you. 
Our eyes met and,
Your tender lips smiled , so dearly.

I opened my eyes, 
Realized i was awaken to that, very heart-warming scene. 
That's the only thing I remembered. Not much, but it was something that I hope that the dream actually last longer. 

I didn't want to tell you this, i just don't want you to feel bothered bout it. It's best if i just keep this to myself.




♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Friday, July 25, 2014

Semua Balik Raya!

Ternampak abg hensem tu pakai blazzer. *melt* oops. Kembali beku!

Tengok kat keadaan sekeliling, ada yg dah pulang ke rumah and kampung masing2. Roomates sy besok baru balik. Tinggal lah sy sorang kat bilik yg tiba2 terasa luas dan sepi ini. Di kala semua sdg berseronok pulang dan beraya di halaman masing2, sy yg jauh dr Sabah nampaknya spend time kat bilik and kolej je la k. Nak keluar pun useless, bukan sy tau driving pun. hahahaha *kesian* Abg sorang tu pun balik. taklah nampak kelibat dia yg tinggi mcm zirafah tu kat kolej selama seminggu awww. Eh apa yg sy merepek ni ! Please jangan mengharap! :(


Rasa2nya family kat Sabah pulang Papar tak tahun ini? adoi rindunyaa mamy and dady. rindunya nenek kat kampung tu. rindunya sepupu ku yg bengong tu. adoiiiii rindunya mau makan lemang. adoiiii rindunya nak cirit-birit raya hari-3.  adoi adoiii.

Takpa lah stay kolej ja. bukan sy sorang ja pun. ramai lagi. Sy gunalah kesempatan yg ada ini utk belajar add math jadahhh tu dan work out! * ya la sangat * Tau la lemak dah solid sgt susah nak bagi hilang. Sigh.

Okay la malas pula nk type pjg2 . Mood tak okay sgt. btw, Happy Raya Aidilfitri to you all! <3




♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Friday, July 18, 2014

Hidden Stupidity


They sit around me. Doing work. Work I’ll never understand. I say I do and I guess that gets me by. They tell me how smart I am. But they don’t really know a thing about me. I’m too scared to do this work. Scared of failure. Always scared that people will look down on me.

I would rather be seen, as that kid that knows what she’s doing but is too stubborn to put any effort in.

That’s how it is. It’s the honest truth. But if I said these words out loud. Nobody would believe me. They would all tell me of the potential I have. I don’t have any at all actually. The one subject I care about I’m failing. Though the teacher thinks I’m passing because I know how to spin shit. It will only last so long. Soon they will all know the truth. As soon as my exam results come back. They’ll know how stupid I am. I know I will want to run away from them all. I already want to run. But things are too good here at the moment. Work won’t be as slack as school is. I will have to show up, something I don’t do for school. I will have to actually do the work. I’m scared to stay but i’m terrified to leave.... 


okayy la. thats's all for now. *sigh*


♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Matematik. Benci lah

Mak aiii tak suka lah subjek math ni. Ntah org lain suka sgt subjek tu tapi sy... Bio chemistry smua tu sy boleh lah terima tapi math macam susah sgt bagi saya. Ni tgh buat assignment math lah ni, tu pun dah hopeless ni, otak ku sungguh penat ya allah. Otak, kenapa lah ko tak suka math, kan dah susahkan sy -.-
♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Nak Merepek Jap

Day 13 at KSKB SAS

Rupa-rupanya dah 13 hari kat sini. huuu. tidur tak lena, makan tak banyak, assignment bertimbun! sy ni masih culture shock ke? tau la first time masuk kolej kan. kan sy ni lepasan STPM, bukan belajar kat kolej pun.

Memandangkan sy kat negeri org, sy blh rasa byk perubahan ni. slang sy bercakap pun dah terikut-ikut ngan org sini, (sorry hehe)  . Hubungan dgn roomates setakat ni alhamdulillah baik (kadang2 adalah terasa sikit hihi) . ada juga dua , tiga org senior tu baik dgn saya. terima kasih la ye, you know who you are :))

You all tau ka apa yg paling bikin panas sepanjang sy belajar kat sini? tangga nak naik tingkat 4. Allah, rasa mcm naik tingkat 8 je -.- Rasanya most energy sy digunakan utk naik tangga je. belajar kat dewan kuliah pun tak sepenat tu okay. yang kejam nya lagi kalau dh duduk kat dewan kuliah pastu ada barang tinggal kat bilik. hah rasa lah ko jalan 2km (pergi balik) utk ambik barang je. hahaha

Banyak sangat kerja math! :(

Raya nanti saya tak balik Penang atau Sabah. sedihnya! first time la ni puasa ngan raya jauh dari family. Harap2 tak nangis bila dgr takbir raya nanti hhaha (sebak) . What am i gonna the whole week ?! Roomates semua dah book tiket nak balik. kesiannya saya alone nanti. takpe sy belajar je la . (sedih)  sy nak stok kabinet biar bagi full dgn makanan! :( Sabah, wai u so far?







♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

Sunday, July 6, 2014

KOLEJ SAINS KESIHATAN BERSEKUTU SULTAN AZLAN SHAH

haii you all! lama tak update story , sorry :( 

Sy skrg belajar kat KSKB SAS Ulu Kinta ni. Diploma Farmasi. takpe lah belajar 3 tahun diploma lagi hahaha janji kalau cemerlang exam komfom dapat keja!

Seriously KSKB SAS sgt lawa luas. keluasannya agak2 45 hektar. Student sem 1 yg masuk bulan julai ni ada 373 org. 80 daripadanya ialah pelatih farmasi. 

K la sebenarnya sy penat sgt ni. malas nak update panjang2 hahahah next time je la k . 

<3

♥ Love, Autumn Zira ♥

 
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