People generally come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
So many people have swallowed the pill teaching us that an ideal relationship is an end goal to aspire to. They forget that what’s important is the growth and experience that comes with the relationship itself. It’s about the time we spend with others – interacting with one another, helping each other grow and evolve and become better people – not just reaching some finish line that’s expected to stay exactly as is forever. If someone left a job they’d been at for five or ten years because they needed to change direction in their career, did they fail at that job? No, they’re just not the same person they were when they began, and recognized that their needs have changed accordingly.
I’m not one to get mushy when it comes to exes. But even I have to admit that everyone I ever dated left some impression on me. They had worldviews or life philosophies that touched mine. We love to talk about our terrible exes, and what they did to us. It’s true a lot of times. But there’s also simply the knowledge and experiences they’ve had. There’s the hopes and ambitions they share. All of this leaves a print. We pick up little bits and pieces of code from other people and copy them into the DNA of our own personalities. On the smallest level, we emerge from each relationship a different person. Each time we start a new relationship, we’re either bringing baggage or new knowledge and skills — a new us.
You’re not the same person that you were a week ago, let alone a year, or a decade ago. People change constantly, and not always in the same direction, so it’s inevitable that many relationships will end once they’ve served their purpose. This isn’t failure, it’s personal growth, and should be appreciated and respected as such, rather than condemned. Forcing a relationship to last longer than it should out of a sense of obligation, or fear of failure, means that we’re not truly appreciating the connection in the present moment… and that does both parties a terrible disservice.
Love isn’t constant or permanent. Nor is it unconditional. Yeah it sucks to admit, but like every other emotion, love is just a bunch of neurochemical reactions happening in our brains which exist to help us survive in this world.
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